Stuck in Paradise

I'm on the island. Yes, THE island. As in Maui, Hawaii!! It's strange to me how this whole island thing works  though. Is Maui kind of like a city? But then what are the towns in Maui called? Is Maui a state within a state?

Thank goodness I don't have to worry about this kind of stuff... I'm on vacay! That means not having to worry about anything except which bikini makes my bod look the best. Ladies-- you know what I'm talkin bout! HAYYYY! It's currently 4:16 A.M. on my body, so forgive my whatever-ness.

Okay. Here's a little something that is for mature/strong stomached audiences only: my friend ate some shrimp tonight which didn't sit well in her tummy. When we got back she spent a good twenty minutes in the bathroom puking it all back out. Hearing the chewed up shrimp making its way back to the surfface is not quite the lulling soundtrack one might expect to find at the beach. Anyway, the whole point is that when she was puking her guts out and some nasty buttered shrimp the only thing running through my mind was, "Hmm. Trouble in paradise?" Obviously said in a well-mastered man-from-the-movie-previews voice. I was not thinking about whether or not she needed some water or someone to hold back her hair. No, I was thinking about how many laughs I could get if I said what I was thinking out loud.

For the record, I didn't say it out loud because I knew no one else would appreciate my sense of humor when one of our own was bent over a porcelain pelican. (I say pelican because the mothers puke in their babies' mouths which just so happen to look like a toilet bowl. Funny how the world works.)

With all of this said, Maui is GREAT! I'm having the time of my life. I never want to leave. EVER. Oh, and did I mention how unbelievably gorgeous it is here! Don't believe me? Here's proof...
This is my lovely view. Let the jealousy seep into your pores and saturate your every skin cell so you're dripping with the green blood of envy. MUAHAHAHA.

See you all in a week!